Drink Kirschwasser From A Shell
Despite being a terrible, terrible actress, and only a so-so celebrity poker player, Rosario Dawson IS the future of the beautiful woman: curvy, dark, and of unknown descent.
BREAKING: The alien invasion has begun!!!
Shelley Long, best known for never having recovered from her Cheers hangover, OD’s (like a woman) on painkillers after her 22 year marriage to Walter Fielding crumbles like the house they bought together did in 1986.
Collin Farrell and Paris Hilton take some much needed time off from humping total strangers to finally hump each other. Why has this taken so long?
Personal favorite Catherine Keener resurfaces! Sort of.
Giant Douche Bag Jared Leto gets a great Fame Audit. The best line, “Requiem For A Dream blew. Yes, it did.”
Joan Collins is bald. Try to give a shit, ok?
Why can’t American light beer commercials be more like this Japanese one, starring Lucy Liu? Sure it moves way too fast and makes absolutely no sense, but it’s fucking brilliant, nonetheless.
Jesus H. Christ died for your sins… and this incredible new holiday Victoria’s Secret commercial. (problems: bottom)
Monkey boy George Clooney kicks off what is sure to be a 100% totally inescapable solar system consuming Ocean’s Twelve tidal wave promotional bonanza assault… tonight on Letterman.
Obviously, Steely Dan is one of our favorite bands, however, half the time we have no idea what Donald Fagen is lisping on about in the songs. Thank goodness for The Steely Dan Dictionary. (via junk)
Avril Lavigne has been recording ideas for her new album on her answering machine, because she is “constantly thinking of stuff.” That’s our girl!
Download the Kings Of Leon’s excellent, if not slightly The Who sounding, Slow Night, So Long (via kingblind)
Target has Marijuana! (via theapt)
rosario looks like prince in a negligee.
nice “Money Pit” shout out!
she’s Puerto Rican, Cuban, Black, Irish, and Native American heritage…Tiger Woods should have gotten with her so that their kid would be comprised of the enitre globe
excellent find on the steely dictionary. I almost shed a tear when i read about sweet Phyllis Nefler.
Nefler is hot in “troop beverly hills” with the red hair and the custom-tailored brown wilderness girl troop leader outfit. Not to mention Craig T. Nelson as the muffler man. TBH is atomic!
Hey azz-clown… In regards to that Victoria’s Secret ad: Yeah the chicks were hot, but I didn’t respond to them. If you were talking to them while watching the ad, then I guess you’ve got nothing else going on in your life.
BTW, make sure you clean up the mess you left afterwards!
get em’ slept.
Give it two weeks. Bald Joan Collins will lead to other photoshop renderings of bald actresses. And a new interweb fetish is born. By the end, it’ll be a bald Elizabeth Hurley dressed like Wonder Woman, tied to a tree, fucking Jar Jar.
Despite the suicide bid, Shelly Long is still good looking wool.
tu madre is right. It’s not really necessary to add that last line. it has been edited away. my thanks to tu madre, guest insulter/editor of the day. vive tu madre!!!
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