The Recording Industry was out in full-force last night to waste everybody’s time and get their asses handed to them by a dead guy. Guess this means Jaime Foxx is definitely getting him some Oscar. Oh, and look who else was there: Janet Reno(we loved her album!), Lance Armstrong(we loved his bracelet!), Elvin Bishop(no idea!), Shawn Fanning(we loved illegally downloading porn!), Joss Stone(we loved the White Stripes!), Evander Holyfield(we loved his album!), Penelope Cruz(what the fuck!), Bill Clinton(we loved his presidency!), and Kyra Sedgwick(we loved Singles!).

• Production on Eucalyptus, the Nicole Kidman/Russell Crowe flick that was scheduled to begin filming in Australia this month has been indefinitely postponed because Russell Crowe is a self-aggrandizing cock-master.

• Jude Law and Sienna Miller are postponing their wedding until next year to give themselves plenty of time to break up before it happens.

• The Chan-man Matthew Perry had a “bad reaction” to getting really, really fucked up.

• Jemima Khan tries to shock(er) Hugh Grant.

• Brad Pitt stops for some post sex-with-the-personal-assistant ice-cream, with his personal assistant.

• Kelly Osbourne needs to go back to rehab.

• The Restaurant’s very own Little Lord Fauntleroy Rocco Dispirito abandons the kitchen for a party once again.

• Entertainment Weekly has some nice new photos of the Sin City cast. Jessica Alba, why do you hurt so good?

• According to Lindsay’s twice removed, legally blind, geriatric source, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had dinner together the other night… in Springfield, Missouri. The same source also saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors.

• Vice’s Sex Issue has the un-definitive Guide to Picking Up Chicks and some decent Do’s.

• Rich Girl, Odd Father: Ally Hilfiger sighting!!!

• Goldie Hawn: When Botox goes wrong.

• Incredible set of fake paparazzi shots by Steven Meisel for Vogue Italia.

• Harvard drama-losers pretend to like Catherine Zeta-Jones. Those crazy Ivy-Leaguers!

• Ashton Kutchy and Amanda Peet to induce nausea everywhere with A Lot Like Love.

• A homeless Clint Eastwood as Batman, a black Alfred, and a Lincoln Town-Car Batmobile movie to be filmed in Tokyo?! It almost happened. (via achtungbaby)

• The Gastineau Girls TV schedule. Learn it.

• Sign the petition to have Time Fades Away, arguably, Neil Young’s greatest album (and originally recorded in 1973) released on CD. (via largeheartedboy)

• Mr. a Steely Dan whatever to release classic 2003 NPR Piano Jazz visit as album.

• OffCityLimits has a live Ben Folds cover of Video Killed The Radio Star.

• The adorable Asobi Seksu play the Drunken Unicorn tonight.

• Speaking of Unicorns, they broke up.

• Physical objects on the Audiopad table represent audio tracks, microphones, and actions. (via dixon)

• Musical Chairs, Nike-style.

• For You Valentine: Things not to say while climaxing.