SI model Frankie Rayder channels the spirit and agony(yet calm) of a victorious, but ultimately beaten and empty-handed, Santiago, the simple Cuban fisherman, from Hemingway’s The Old Man and The Sea.

• The new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue website has all kinds of crap for the average horny american teen consumer(like there’s not enough naked chicks out there already): custom posters, sweepstakes, videos, and wallpaper downloads for your phone. There’s even a set of outtake photos of Real World Paris’ soccer & drama lesbian Mallory(they padded her bikini). Don’t get us wrong, Mal’s cute and all, but this smells like some sort of weak cross promotional tie-in deal; And if there’s one thing we hate above all other things, it’s a weak cross promotional tie-in deal. Other website highlights include: an X-rated shot of a body-painted Bridget Hall(scroll down), and a couple of sexy pics of Saturday Night Live’s Finesse Mitchell. All in all, maybe the best issue ever.

• MJ pulls a Lohan on his way to court. BORING!

• Kate Moss wakes up, says something, creates fashion. (via UMC)

• The HitchHiker’s Guide To The Galaxy trailer is up.

• Allegra Versace is anoxeric? NO?!

• It’s not just the whole stunning-black-girl(Naomi Campbell), older white-guy-who’s-had-some-work-done celeb(Kevin Bacon), dressed up all shiny, high contrast black & white, paparazzi-style, shot at night, photographs of the new Rocawear ad campaign that remind us of the Tommy Hillfiger 2004 campaign featuring David Bowie and Iman, it’s just that, well… Alright. Yes it is, actually. See if you can tell the difference between Damon Dash’s new print ads and Tommy Hillfger’s 2004 ads.

• Mother Madonna to finally make her great cock-rock album.

• Coldplay dragging their feet with new record.

• Ahhhh, 2004. Remember Franz Ferdinand? No? Well, they were pretty darn good. Watch those angular Scotts play live at MTV.com.

• Stereogum’s got the first new Beck mashup.(like you haven’t already been there today)

• Leno has SI cover girl Carolyn Murphy, Charles Barkley, and Sum 41 tonight. Sum 41 still not funny.

• Because It’s Hump Day: One third Briana Banks, one third not, and one third girl-next-door(if you live in the OC, maybe) even more Marissa Miller.