The Greatest Instrument Ever Made
Ashton Kutcher comes to the realization that beneath the whole visual gag of the joke lies the cold, hard, grandmother-fucking truth.
Oprah Winfrey to live completely delusional, honest to Godless, poverty-stricken lifestyle… for a month… for a “reality” show… for which she will be paid millions. So, you know what to do, Chicago: The first chance you get, take her camera crew hostage and demand a few of her mansions as ransom.
Jessica Simpson admits to her flaws, accepts them, and moves on as the stupidest person to ever have their teeth replaced with tiny halogen lights.
Britney Spears: Fakest smile ever.
Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal never broke up?! But, you, we, thought, US Weekly, how? Why? In our best Cartman: Our world has just come undone- our fragile little mind warped.
Wes Anderson directs Dasani commercial, without Owen Wilson.
Parker Posey to play (yet another) raging be-atch. Maybe we’re not so jealous of Ryan Adams.
Eddie Murphy to avenge Pluto Nash debacle with even bigger bomb.
Project Greenlight’s main cigarette smoker (besides Ben Affleck) Matt Damon talks Bourne Identity 33 1/3, The Bourne Ultimatum: To Make Another Bourne Identity Movie Or Not?
Friendster: Hopefully, the movie will be as useful, entertaining and vital to day to day survival as the website!
The Guardian goes (two weeks ago) gaga over R. Crumb. Better late than never?
Rod Stewart is McHatin’ it.
According to Your Heads Not Right:
Strokes guitarist Nick Valensi used to call his customised 1960s Epiphone Riviera “the greatest instrument ever made,” but he can’t say that anymore. Epiphone has introduced a Nick Valensi signature model based on his guitar. The Epiphone Elitist Nick Valensi Riviera P-94 is part of the prestigious Elitist line of vintage-inspired Epiphones, and the classic semi-hollowbody is fitted just like Valensi’s, with P-94 pickups.
Atlanta gets added to the new The Shins and Built To Spill tourdates.
Olivia Tremor Control to reform for a couple of shows. And then a couple more shows. And then a come-back album. And then a full blown world tour. And then a break-up.
Tom Waits’ top 20 favorite albums. (via LHB)
Patrick Dean: Evening In The Eleventh Dimension
Please, feel free to use the names B. and The Clicker. Seriously.
My jizz spoke back with me from the kleenex and says it was great to be released on a picture of Demi and to keep placing the sweet release on pictures of hotties.
i applaud ashton. and salute demi. maybe it’s because a 15-yr gap btw a man and woman is considered normal if the man’s older.
is it just me, or is Britney Spears the most foul-looking pop star on the charts today? She looks like the horse that nobody wants to pick when you go for a trail ride, you know, with a name like Mr Pitts or something. She’s just not hot. At all. Seriously. She’s gross. Does anyone else see this?
b
That cartoon from the flagpole sucked, and I can’t believe the new Mars Volta didn’t make Tom Waits all time list.
Pretty! She looks really young though! Like Baby One More Time CD cover young. ya’ll!
Ok here we go. Just because we have a bunch of no go jealous dudes in da house people gotsta be bashin’. Especially B Allen. Lets get it straight. Britney=Hot Demi=Hot Jessica=Hot as ballz. If I could only see the pubic hair when Britney wears that shit so low I think I would jizz in my roos. Out.
So Jimmy Fallon has continued his understudy of Adam Sandler career and is now playing Drew Barrymore’s love interest on screen. Once again, he’s really making his mark.
Oh man Ashton. Dating a fixed up mother of 3. Lordy. When will you learn?
Do we have confirmation that Jessica Simpson’s teeth are fake? She looks so wierd when she smiles.
Jimmy Falon blows.
Britney was hot. Then she married Federline yo, got chubby, bad tattoos, bad skin, bad hair, and on and on and on……
Nick Valensi is a skinny prick. I know for a fact cuz I spent some time with him one night in Boston after a show last year.
Britney looks like any other 23 year old girl I know. Definitely average, definitely not pop star hott.
nuff said.
i hate i hate star fuckers.
insert gay abreviated final comment here.
zing.
“Murphy would play the title character, an old-school rapper who retires and becomes a private eye who solves crimes within the hip-hop world.”
I can understand your concern. I’m glad to see though that Eddie is doing some, or trying to, do some original ideas.
Federline…. Man Panties for Wiggers
I think the reason that Jessica Simpson looks so weird when she smiles is because of her eye lift. http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/archives/004662.html
b, you’re right on. no chance i’d spears her.
speak for yourself, eric.
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Great Crumb article. Rent the documentary about him (called, strangely enough, “Crumb”). If you think he’s odd, check out his younger brother.