Poor Sarah Hall. So, first Gawker reported that E! had reported that Nick and Jessica (you know, the Newlyweds) had filed for divorce. Then Stereogum and, of course, Defamer got the link. Five minutes later, the link was XXX‘d, and then the above statement appeared… and now we’re reporting on all that reporting. False alarm? Frankly, we think E! knows the same thing that everybody else that’s keeping score at home knows, which is that Jessica Simpson has been photographed out and about almost every night for the past few weeks never to be seen once with husband Nick Lachey. So where is Mr. Meatstick? He’s talking to his lawyers and having a Miller Lite, duh! But Jessica, she’s got grapefruits- er, we mean a career, sorta… Well, she’s got The Dukes Of Hazzard, at least. Goldenfiddle firmly believes that where there’s smoke (feel the love?) there’s divorce papers being drawn. Ergo, this marriage is now probably only slightly premature-kaput. Now, go back to sleep. We’ll wake you for the real thing. This I swear.