What’s the only thing more depressing than the thought of actually reading life-whore Kim Cattrall’s new naked coffee table book Sexual Intelligence, and or sitting through the made for TV documentary of the same name? … Actually, we can’t really think of anything more depressing than either one of those two things. Although, the thought of Kim Cattrall feigning interest in whatever it is Michelle Trachtenberg has to say about anything is pretty darn skull crushing, too.

• Coming Soon talks to Jason Schwartzman about Shopgirl and all his love triangles.

• Bijou Phillips on and off the runway.

• Hollywood’s current favorite fashion accesory Caroline D’Amore, AKA Yasdnil(we can do better than that can’t we?), sports some mouth bling at the recent Ashley Paige fashion show.

• Right now, probably somewhere in Hollwood, Maria Menounos is smiling from ear to ear.

• New pics from the set of Southland Tales, Richard Kelly’s (Donnie Darko) film currently in production starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, The Rock, Sean William Scott, Amy Poehler, Cheri Oteri, and every other SNL alum. ever. and Justin Timberlake.

• Courtney Cox, mother of Coco Arquette, and wife of David Arquette, has a production company called Coquette. Now, with one hand, pinch your index finger and thumb together, raise them to the bridge of your nose, hold the bridge of your nose, close your eyes, lean forward and exhale thoroughly. You may now proceed with your day.

Feast your hungry little peepers of these pictures of scrub and summer Zack Braff and Rachel Bilson partying their sweaty asses off like it’s spring break 1999 with a bunch of pedestrians.

• Sports Illustrated cover girl Carolyn Murphy sex tape on the way. Unfortunately for Incubus fans, this tape was made with nobody husband numero uno Jake Schroeder, who has given his blessing for the release of the tape (whataguy!) and had these ex-kind words regarding the matter: “Let it be in the public eye. It doesn’t really affect my life; it’s Ms. Murphy who has to worry. I’m sick of her bullshit. Carolyn is as fake as her new tits. She’s just about the almighty dollar.”

• Watch the trailer for Underworld: Evolution, the sequel to a movie that never should have seen the light of a movie projector.

Ladies and gentlemen, the cover artwork for the Darkness’ second studio album, “One Way Ticket to Hell …and Back”

• DOWNLOAD: Wakka Chikka Wakka Chikka: Porn Music For The Masses, Vol.1

• The Other Side: A fourth Strokes song has leaked. This is getting kinda fun.

• The video for Lindsay Lohan’s new single “Confessions Of A Broken Heart” will premiere on MTV’s “Making The Video” on Monday, October 24th at 6 PM EST.

• The inaugural Paste Rock n Reel Festival begins this Saturday in Decatur with over 12 hours of short films in the short film competition, a screening of High and Dry, a special forum and screening with the Brothers Chaps (Homestarrunner) and over 30 bands including (deep breath): Low, Mark Olson and Victoria Williams, Mindy Smith, Over The Rhine, Buddy Miller, Erin McKeown, Howe Gelb (of Giant Sand), Brandi Carlile, Elf Power, Cary Brothers, Manchester Orchestra, Kate York, Denison Witmer, Phosphorescent, Red Letter Agent, Matthew Ryan, A Fir-Ju Well, Anathallo, Colour Revolt, The Selmanaires, Modern Skirts, Trent Dabbs, AFAR, Taylor Hollingsworth, Anthony David, The Whigs, Cadillac Jones, Hope for A Golden Summer, Tyler James, Charlie Mars, Blake Guthrie and Andrew Nelson.

• Athens veterans Five Eight plays The Earl tonight.

• Madonna gets back on the horse.

• All Al-night on Letterman with Al Franken and Al Green tonight.

• Catherine Zeta Jones hosts this weekend’s Saturday Night Live with musical guest Franz Ferdinand.

• Ginseng + Taurine + Guarana + D-Ribose + Maltodextrin + Lionel Richie = Mountain Dew MDX.