Giada De Laurentis: Okay. You can stop smiling now. We got the picture… Please. Stop smiling. We’re not taking any more pictures. We got it. Thanks. (Do we think she has a little dwarf in her blood line?)
According to billionaire moron spotter Mark Cuban, YouTube is going to be “sued into oblivion,” which, we must say, is going to be pretty awesome to watch. on YouTube. (via advancedtheory)
A sequel to the 1983 hit movie War Games? Already? That was fast.
The ugliest girl on Holland(ica)’s Next Top Model makes the hottest girl on America’s Next Top Model look like the homliest girl on Mongolia’s Next Top Grandmother Hooker.
Lara Fylnn Boyle: Like Meg Ryan, but without the really great resume.
Mock-sheets for Tracy Morgan’s(soft g) character Tracy Jordan on 30 Rock.
Wha? Was Paul Simon busy?! We guess it could be worse. Dane Cook could be hosting the season premiere of Saturday Night Live with musical guest The Killers… Oh, drat. {ED. Note: We have a sneaking suspicion the (Rankin) bassist is actually puppetronic.}
A gossipy fairy tale starring Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn, Joe Francis, Us Weekly’s lipless quisling Ken Baker, tons of free schwag, and absolutely no Perez Manbearpig in site? Mmmm, it’s a beautiful thing. Thanks Jossip!
American telenovela Ugly Betty No Wear Prada executive producer Salma Hayek and star America Ferrera do the polite, morning, chat thing with queen of the white people Diane Sawyer.
Robert Downey Jr. to play Tony Stark in Jon Favreau’s Iron Man. Get it? Because they’re both alcoholics! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Jesus Camp: “We get to watch Fischer pray over her technical equipment — “No microphone problems, in Jesus’ name. …” before briefly speaking in tongues.”
On October 3rd, Paste and Criminal Records will host a Beck/Sean Lennon double feature at the Plaza Theater here in sun-shiny Atlanta, GA. First up will be Sean As(s)cot Lennon’s new film I Got To Bang All These Girls ‘Cos John Lennon Was My Dad, starring a bunch of girls that Sean got to bang ‘cos John Lennon (Note: Disc 1: Ascot) was his dad. The Beck half of the feature will be comprised of music videos for/from his forthcoming album/DVD The Information.
Fashion designer Erin Fetherston’s film Wendybird, starring our very own Kiki Dunst and shot by famed photographer (and former knife throwers assistant) Ellen von Unwerth. Still frames HERE.
JCR: How did the film with Ellen von Unwerth and Kirsten Dunst come about?
EF: I actually met Ellen and Kirsten on the exact same night about a year ago in Paris. Kirsten was here filming Marie Antoinette, and we all found ourselves at an event together during fashion week. I met them both briefly but over the course of the past year I’ve gotten to know them both a lot more. Ellen has become a very good friend and mentor to me in Paris. She really believes in the collection. Kirsten has also become a dear friend. She came to see the collection when I brought the clothing to LA to do a week of market appointments in November and fell in love with it. She felt that we really shared in the same universe and was really interested in doing some kind of collaboration. So I came up with the idea of doing a short film for my collection, something I had dreamt of for all my other collections. I approached Ellen and Kirsten with the idea and both of them wanted to be involved. It came about quite naturally. We all shared the common interest of creating something beautiful and original, and I think it was very personal to all of us.
Jack Nicholson & Mick Jagger: No, I thought you fucked her! Wait, you didn’t fuck her? Well if you didn’t fuck her, and I didn’t fuck her, they who the fuck fucked her?!
Leslie Sloane-Zelnick says that Sarah Michelle Gellar absolutely loves her The Girls’ Guide to Hunting & Fishing co-star Alex Baldwin. See?!
George Clooney (Unbreak-Up-Able) is concerned that Hollywood good-buddy Brad Pitt is working too hard these days on too many projects and is not getting enough of that precious, staring-at-yourself-in-the-mirror-and-pretending-you’re-an-architect-time to himself.
Rosario Dawson’s nipples have has signed a deal with Dimension Films to bring her comic book Occult Crimes blah, blah, blah.
While you were watching Johnny Knoxville allow himself to be bitten three times by an anaconda (duh, who the fuck grabs a snake that far behind the head?) Flickskinny sat alone in a theater and watched Sean Penn drown himself in All The King’s Men.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, The Salma Hayek-produced American version of Colombian super-telenovela Yo Soy Betty, La Fea (now Ugly Betty) is a “warmhearted dramedy that gushes charm and family appeal.” ¡Grande!
Drew Barrymore and food mentioned together in same sentence, again. Butterflies and karma suspiciously left out.
This is going to come as a shock to… maybe one of you, (and you -the one- should be ashamed of yourself) but those angsty, pierced Madden siblings in Good Charlotte are SUCH DOUCHES.
And now, a reading from the blog of Cory Kennedy: Sunday, September 24, 2006, i have to be back in hollywood in an hour. bleh man , bleh. its hot there. cha cha with pat odell tonight?
Ziggy: That’s what you get for ordering Veggie Chili.
Just think how skeeved-out the photographer must have felt.
Pink Is The New Cocaine: “Hollywood insiders tell TMZ that this drug has exploded in the club scene, and not only has cocaine made a huge comeback, the strawberry version is definitely rearing its ugly head again.” Those insiders must be deep, deep, deep inside. Like, past the foyer deep.
Cate Blanchett is attached to star in Cancer Vixen: A True Story, based on the book by New Yorker cartoonist Marisa Acocella.
Lead Killer Brandon Flowers talks about throwing away Sam’s Town.
I think the best bands are able to throw away things that aren’t up to snuff.
We’re able to do that. You’ve got to be able to say: “This isn’t good enough and I can do better” and push on.
John Mayer Is The New Blog: Celebrity Blogging, Not From Concentrate.
According to Mark Cobrasnake mini-muse/thief/urchin Cory Kennedy’s new blog, which may or may not be real (and even if it is real, may or may not be real), pizza rules, Lindsay Lohan is disgusto, and the new Rapture album Pieces Of The People We Love sucks… Almost as much as Vincent Gallo is hoping Cory will. (via ablogsoup)
Here’s a first look at Freak Show, the new David Cross/Jon Benjamin (Dr. Katz) animated series on Comedy Central. The cartoon follows the misadventures of the Freak Squad, a band of carnival oddities (so hot right now) secretly employed by the Pentagon to execute low-priority missions such as doing laundry or picking up Chinese take-out.
Other politically flat-out-wrong members of the team include: The Bearded Clam (able to shoot blinding Bitch Juice) The World’s Tallest Nebraskan (who can shrink up to six inches) Primi (the premature baby with pinpoint projectile vomiting) and Log Cabin Republican (who transforms into Burly Bear.)
Dane Cook has Tourgasm, David Cross has blinding Bitch Juice.
Speaking of bearded clams, could they have hired a weirder looking kid to star in waxed-nostrilled freak show’s Paris Hilton’s whorrible new trailer video for “Nothing in this World?” Then POOF! He’s 5’8”. And Cuthbert. Why? One line? One shot? Duh duh, duh, duh, duh, duh duh.
Watch the trailer for The Good Shepard, starring Alec Baldwin, William Hurt, Billy Crudup, John Turturro, Robert De Niro, Angelina Jolie, and (in your best Team America) Matt Damon over at -you guessed it- AOL.
Continuing with our day of AOL love, those madcap rapscallions at AOL Radio have launched a “Lemonheads O.D.” radio station (cue cricket emoticon) where you can “overdose” on the entire Lemonheads catalog -including tracks from the new album- live cuts and more.
Fuck a pearl necklace; Jessica Simpson wants the whole cock.
We know we’re kind of playing with fire here, but… 8.25.06, Hollywood’s reigning schwag whore Daveigh Chase at the
FLAVIA® 2006 Silver Spoon Emmy Suite, Day 2, and 8.26.06, Daveigh Chase at the
Luxottica Luxury Eyewear Suite at the HBO Luxury Lounge, Day 1.
Don’t look now, but Gwyneth Paltrow is standing right behind you.
Jack Nicholson calls the hours between two and four in the morning his “ass-scratching hours.” Note to selves, buy new Jack Nicholson issue of Rolling Stone magazine, tell no one.
It’s official: Angelina Jolie is still way hotter than Jennifer Aniston.
Sony Picture Classics picks up Paul Verhoeven’s (Showgirls, Basic Instinct) Black Book, the story of a Jewish cabaret singer that goes into hiding in the Netherlands and joins the Resistance movement against the Nazis… Wait. That can’t be right.
Oh, shut the fuck up, Emmy Rossum.
A blogger who acted on g4’s X-play totally goes off on Morgan Webb and Adam Sessler. According to the person who sent us this link, “It’s really funny.” Speaking of g4, they interviewed king of the douche people Jared Leto (twice), and he thinks all bloggers should die. Have a taste…
G4: Do you do a lot of blogging from the road?
JARED: No, I think that blogging should die a sudden death.
G4: Why?
JARED: It’s just ridiculous. It’s like a playground for four-year-olds. People say and do things in the world of blogs that they would never do in real life, and I think it’s a false experience. You know, it’s, like, eating too much candy.
G4: So you don’t read alot of the celebrity gossip blogs, I take it?
JARED: Well, you know, one of the things along those lines that bothers me about when people start citing blogs as news sources. That when people are writing on these blogs, they feel like they don’t feel they need to do any research or back up their opinions with facts or anything, you know what I mean?
G4: Why is there this inherent lack of responsibility when it comes to blogging as journalism?
JARED: I couldn’t tell you. Times have changed. It used to be, to be a writer you had to have experience and talent, and learn a craft. Now anybody with an opinion, which is anyone and everyone, feels that it’s worthy. Technology is allowing people to have access to things where before it required very great skill. So there will be some interesting developments from that, and also some things that are pretty worthless. Pretty soon anybody with a cell phone is going to be able to be a news reporter.The blog is yesterday’s parachute pants. It’s here now but it’s gone tomorrow.
Yesterday’s parachute pants, here now but gone tomorrow? How can that work? If it’s already yesterday’s then how can it be here now? And if it’s gone tomorrow then, oh nevermind!
Spoon crooner Brit Daniels is scoring the new Will Ferrell flick Stranger that Fiction with original instrumental tracks and previously released Spoon tunes.
Big Love star Chloe Sevigny forgets to pluck her eyebrows.
Watch the Dexter (new series on Showtime) pilot online. The password is “Sneak Peek.” (via bigscreen)
If you think about it, she was due a terrible haircut.
BREAKING: Jessica Biel leaves a party… A lesbian party? (The headband is the dead give away.)
Colleen Shannon fulfills the last item in her contract with former “boyfriend” Jesse Metcalfe. The waxed chest check is in the mail.
Borat to admit he was molested as a child in next month’s Vanity Fair?
Rejected Iron Man armor concept ideas. Apparently, the producers want to go in a more Ari Grandov direction. And, really, who wouldn’t? (via cinematical)
Tobey Maguire brings his beady lil’ peepers to The Good German poster.
Watch the, er, intense new trailer for 007’s Casino Royale.
Breast Wishes: So long fashion week. We hardly knew ya.
Cat Powered Chan Marshall discusses auditioning to be a cast member of Saturday Night Live and getting relatively sober.
Sufjan Stevens and My Brightest Diamond play the Fox Theatre tonight as part of the ongoing Paste Rock ‘N’ Reel Festival.
Atlanta band-to-watch The Whigs (on tour now) make Spin’s band-to-watch of the day… brought to you by Chilis.
Steve Coogan’s hilarous Saxondale is coming to BBC America next month, October 13th. A-ha! (via televisionary. (via tvary)
Kate Moss wakes up, has ciggy, rolls out of bed, screens Pete Doherty call, thinks about cocaine, does cocaine, has ciggy, agrees to design line for TopShop, laughs her crooked teeth to the bank.
At some point during the late 90’s we had the distinct pleasure of seeing The Flaming Lips at the fabulous 40 Watt Club in Athens GA. The plushies were there, and roadies handed out radio headsets to the first 50 people in the door because the band was going to be broadcasting extra, looped recordings over a pirate station or something. There was confetti and a robotic bird, and Wayne splattered fake blood on himself. The was no drummer, just an enormous projection of a drummer on a screen behind the band. It was a weird and excellent party. And one that we never really felt the urge to try and relive. So when sometime goldenfiddle concert critic Zhenya Katz told us she was going to the big Flaming Lips show at the Tabernacle a few nights ago, we told her to enjoy herself, not to accept cheap beer from strangers and that we wanted a review in the moment that sorry excuse for ecstasy wore off. Here now is her transcendent, glowing review…
The worst dog shit ever opened for them - Deerhoof; and the rest of the show sucked butt. And I fucking hate nouveau hippies and The United Arian Nation of Abercrombie. (Honestly, do you really need dreads and hemp wallets to follow Ween?) Unfortunately, nouveau hippies and The United Arian Nation of Abercrombie love The Flaming Lips. I should have ended this drug-buddy affair at Coachella ‘04.
Bummer! Maybe we should all just go check out URB’s exclusive slideshow and audio interview with Banksy spokesperson Simon Munnery from this weekend’s Barely Legal exhibit in Los Angeles.
DOWNLOAD: We’re thinking that the internets needs to shut down for repairs after this post. No fucking mercy…
Six Feet Under alum Michael C. hall is Dexter, a Miami police forensics expert by day and a serial killer of serial killers by night. Aaaah, the old Nacho Libre twist. Genius! And funny, too? According to Televisionary, writer Jim Manos, who had previously penned for decidedly unfunny shows The Shield and The Sopranos, was given the boot by the network to make room for more decapitation jokes on the show. The really creepy part? David looks just like Nate with that hair and stubble.
Watch these one, two, three previews to get the rest of the story.
Deflated boob whatever. You’re missing the real gem here. This is maybe the single greatest picture of Kiki’s snaggle-tooth ever. Related: Exclusive, utterly pointless Marie-Antoinette clip for the 3 remaining Dunst fans still reading.
From the babe-houdin’, sauce-lovin’, Jew-hatin’ Academy Award smugglin” director of Braveheart and The Passion Of The Christ Malibu Mel Gibson’s Lethal Weapon XIV.
Look what happened in the sleepy, college town of Athens, GA last night: R.E.M. made a surprise (or very carefully orchestrated) appearance at the fabulous 40 Watt Club during a benefit for local charities Community Connection and Family Connection/Communities in Schools.
Wow. Looks like a pretty good time, huh? At this point (since we weren’t actually there) we’ll let longtime R.E.M. “advisor” Bertis Downs take it…
Billed as Finest Worksongs: Athens Bands Play the Music of R.E.M., the night featured many of the town’s top current-day musicians, everyone from Claire Campbell from Hope for agoldensummer, to Tin Cup Prophette, to the Modern Skirts, to Bain Mattox, to Bill Doss of the Sunshine Fix, accompanied by a torrent of people from the various Elephant Six Collective bands (known last night as The Observatory), to Patterson Hood with some of the Drive-by Truckers, to Five Eight to R.E.M., comprised of the original Berry, Buck, Mills and Stipe…needless to say, it was fun for all.
For me, the mood was captured during the Modern Skirts’ moving version of one of R.E.M.’s early songs Perfect Circle: “….a perfect circle of acquaintences and friends….”; it was indeed that: many familiar faces from over the years, both onstage and off, musicians playing with each other, with Bain doing accordian duty with the Skirts on the sparkling “Find the River,” as well as accompanying his wife Amanda (Tin Cup Prophette) on an eerie “Nightswimming”… and what tasty choices of “Tongue” and “Leave” by Amanda and band … and speaking of inspired sets, how about the Observatory’s picks of “Feeling Gravitys Pull,” “Pilgrimage,” “Underneath the Bunker” and “These Days”…not to mention the originals doing a short set of “Begin the Begin” and “South Central Rain”…as the night progressed, the Five-Eighters were on fire with mostly rockers (e.g., “Radio Free Europe” b/w “Sitting Still”), but also a tremendous guitar-only take on “Leaving New York”—I particularly appreciated the liberties taken with the classic “Driver 8” (Fiver-8)—the incomparable Patterson and friends romping through everything from “Burning Hell” (it took a minute to remember that one), “Belong,” “Second Guessing,” and “So. Central Rain” (joined by Peter and Mike) to a rollicking version of “Rockville”….Bain doing stunning record-quality versions of “Finest Worksong” and “Losing My Religion,” then a slowed-down, dark take on “Fall on Me”…Claire gamely opening the music with other-worldly interpretations of “Swan Swan H” and “Wendell Gee,” and hours later, everybody climbing onstage for a crowded finale of “End of the World” (what else!?)
What else, indeed. And talk about a supergroup. The Raconwhos? R.E.M., Pylon, Five Eight, the Truckers, and The Modern Skirts?! That’s almost as good as this supergroup seated in the front row at the (gag reflex) Diesel fashion show.
And, of course, there’s a whole bunch of crappy little videos on YouTube.
Billboard talks to lead Trucker Patterson Hood about the show.
And don’t forget to set those TiVo’s; Georgia Public Broadcasting will broadcast the Georgia Music Hall of Fame Awards this Saturday night, September 16th, at 8:30 PM. The show will air again on September 22nd.
Our first, honest to goodness death threat. Yay! So what do you think? Should we take this poet seriously or continue to report on the further adventures of Indiana Schwag Whore and The Temple of Gift Bags?
It appears that Dave hates us almost as much as Giant magazine hates the new John Mayer album Continuum. Or, almost as much as Jean-Claude Van Damme loves Mentos. Or, almost as much as Pitchfork loves revealing the full track-listing for the upcoming Pavement Wowee Zowee: Sordid Sentinels Edition reissiues.
Bruce Almighty co-stars Jim Carrey and Steve Carell re-unite for a a CGI version of Dr. Seuss’s Horton Hears A Who. Because, you know, if history has taught us anything, it’s that Dr. Seuss books make really great movies.
Aw, hell to the no! Bobby Brown has pulled his last dootiebubble from Whitney Houston’s cracked-out ass.
Cinecon talks to Zack Braff about The Shins, Coldplay, Death Cab, hitting on Rachel Bilson, crying over Mandy Moore, and making out with 20-year-old girls in Holocaust dramas. Kidding. not really.
Laguna Beach’s most average blonde Kristin Cavallari weasels her way into another picture.
New-ish footage of Charla from Temptation Island. Oh, Charla. How we miss thee.
The first four pages of The Transformers script and a ton of pictures.
Aaaw, she’s got her daddy’s manical grill.
Her Majesty’s Coroner (we gotta get one of those) Linda P. Virgill allows the plot to thicken and congeal in the case of the death Anna Nicole Smith’s son.
David Cross skips the listening part and jumps right into reviewing the new Yo La Tengo album track by track, based on track titles alone. It’s funny ha, ha.
Tonight: Indie-rock’s very own Cirgue du Soleil The Flaming Lips drag out the inflatable ball and a bunch of happy pills, again, at the Tabernacle, tonight, while KT Tunstall brings her catchier-than-thou brand of loopy, lesbo-pop to the newly re-re-chistened Center Stage. Side note: Warner Bros. left “Suddenly I See,” the opening song from The Devil Wears Prada, off the original soundtrack but kept Madonna’s “Vogue” on it? Retards.
Conan has Ashton Kutcher (The Guardian), Tracy Morgan (30 Rock), and John Mayer (/Blog). Poor Tracy Morgan. Stuck between the two whitest slices of bread in the bag.
Hard-boiled comic guy Frank Miller on NPR’s “This I Believe.” (via luna)
Muse’s Sabotagesque spaghetti western video for “Knights Of Cydonia” (director’s cut) might be the best music video for as long as we care. Aaah, Joesph Kahn directed it. All hail him. He also did the hilarious (but crying on the inside) “Muscle Museum” video.
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