1/15/2008

Scientologese

According to HollywoodInterrupted pitt bull Mark Ebner, the future ex-Mr. Joey Potter Tom Cruise is the mouth behind the following quotes lifted from a 2004 ceremony in which Cruise received the Freedom Medal of Your Special and We Like You A Lot Award from the Church of Scientology of Latter-Day Satans motherbrain David Miscavige. Is there be a creepier last name than Miscavige? (click on the pic for video!!!)

  • “We [the Scientologists] are the authorities on the mind. … We are the way to happiness.”

  • “Crush these guys [psychiatrists]! I’ve had it! Psychiatry doesn’t work. No mercy! None! Go to guns!” (Ebner allows that Cruise wasn’t advocating killing shrinks, but merely spouting some macho “Top Gun” talk.)

  • “If you are a Scientologist, you see things the way they are, in all their glory, in all their complexity. … It’s rough and tumble. It’s wild and woolly. It’s a blast.”

  • “When you’re a Scientologist, and you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it … you’re the only one who can really help.”

(via nydailynews)

ota ok  

honestly its like he’s the top salesman at a timeshare presentation. EXTREME! one of the few times I hope You Tube takes a video down so the nightmares will cease.

bjornholm  

So now they’ve got a problem with EMTs too?

Breena  

yeah all the acronyms, so badass. its the porno music that makes you keep watching though. and the hypnotic swirls in his eyes.

Chloe  

What if they start going after BLTs. That’ll suck.

Kylie  

they really brought down the videos quickly..at Prince-speed.

Newsie  

this video was watched more than anything else Tom has been in recently.

Tussin  

the drums in the Whigs song are tight.

light peculiar  

I didn’t believe it was real for the first few seconds because of the Onion News Network feel of it. Also, the announcer had a fake Thomas Lennon (the State) tone in his voice.

Elliot  

you can just imagine the person at the scene of the accident suddenly thinking about the warm loving embrace of oncoming traffic as an option.

great picture. Vanity Smurf needs to lay off the chaw.

Heinrich  

Him versus Bjork. Who ya got?

Wild and Woolly  

don’t know if its brave or crazy that Gawker/Nick Denton is keeping the video up. do know that Gawker’s html is all fucked up today. coincidence? maybe.

Scripts