“Image director” Oscar Batori, 21, (a former model, obvs) like his girlfriends mannequin, his cartoons Family Guy, his steaks bloody, his lettuce crispy, his issues daddy and his martinis martini and cosmo.

At the Coffee Shop, Mr. Batori found fault with the slightly wilted lettuce on his burger. “That’s typical of American agricultural practice,” he said. He asked the waitress for extra ketchup. Then he looked at the fellow seated with Samantha, who had not removed his iPod earbuds, his hat or his sunglasses as he ate.

The guy was the biggest loser in the world, Mr. Batori said.

• (via nyt)

• Related: Heads up, Juergen Teller.