Thin white duke to sing with doughy white actress: David Bowie will lend his voice (and wanning credibility) on two Tom Waits songs, “Fannin Street” and “Falling Down” on Scarlett Johansson’s upcoming… album. Jesus. It’s really happening. Nick Zinner is on there, too. And what’s with the one original? We are not down with that. It’s like, “Hey, I’m good enough for a Tom Waits album. My song is good enough to stand next to 10 Tom Waits songs. No one will even notice!” Pfft. UPDATE: Gum hears it, refuses to prematurely evaluate all over it.

• Related: Adriana Cernanova, close but no Scarlett Johansson.

• In a related story, Keira Knightley won a best actress award for being pretty and wearing pretty dresses and being pretty in a major melodramatic perfume commercial, last night at the Elle Pretty People in Pretty Clothes Awards.

• No idea what a red lasso is, but it’s got Marisa Miller on Letterman. She was cute, laughed at herself the whole time, and appeared genuinely grateful when he gave her flowers. The hair/mane is absurd. Aaaah, so boxing is responsible for her new… leaner top-half.

• Lauren Conrad’s collection is, “Ugly, overpriced, simply outrageous, and (our personal fav) heavy on the doody colors.” Heavy doody!

• BUSTED: Oh, Julian. We were going to find out at some point, anyhow. (and we wouldn’t mind finding a little peace in her middle east, ifyouknwowhatwerwtalkingabout!)

• Anybody remember Deyrolle? Well, it burned down.

• The Beastie Boys: Assholes then and now.

• The Dude of Life: FFFFound!

• Uno numero uno!