“I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatment was leech therapy. These aren’t just swamp leeches though - we are talking about highly trained medical leeches. These are not some low level scavengers - we’re talking high level blood suckers. They have a little enzyme that when they are biting down in you it gets released in your blood and generally you bleed for quite a bit - and your health is optimized. It detoxifies your blood - I’m feeling very detoxified right now.” ~ Demi Moore, actress, mother and moron

Um… question. Why the fuck is your blood toxic in the first place?

(Hilarity goes in the comments section.)

• Update: According to this amusing Wiki entry, “Medicinal Leeches an effective means to reduce blood coagulation, relieve venous pressure from pooling blood, especially after plastic surgery, and stimulate circulation in reattachment operations for organs with critical blood flow, such as eye lids, fingers, and ears.”