Holy shitballs. So many favorite moments. But if we had to go with just one: smashing the bag into the front door. Or the copy: “In her literally hundreds of visits to Olive Garden over the years, Kendra noticed that the waitresses are often as hot as the food.” Huh! That, or the fact that Playboy is looking for sexy Olive Garden wait staff. Or the whole thing.

• Indiana Jones and The Really, Really Gay Tale from Margaritaville.

• Indeed, (Russell) Brand has made such a splash he is even attracting the interest of US comedians and performers. “I’ve heard he’s great,” says actor Tom Arnold. “I’m anxious to see what he can do.” So, you know. He’s got that going for him.

• Danny Masterson is opening a New York-ish boutique on Hollywood’s east side called Confederacy which, says Masterson, will have “a sick, old-school feel.” Sweet. Old school.

• Club owners take note: Hire the Ronson, get the Lohan for free.

• Cinematical takes pictures of action figures at New York Comic Con.

• The Onionish: Anonymous Virgin Calls Speed Racer “Orgasmic!!!”

Teh new Onkyo TX-SR606.

• Great The Hives show Live from Terminal 5 on MSN’s Control Room.

• Malkmus on Red Eye. Painful, fun, and uninformed. As usual.

• Mariah Carey upsets fans at signing. C’mon, people. Smarten up. You can’t be a diva if you don’t act like a diva.

• Hedi Slimane shoots thin white duchess Sasha Pivovarova.

• NEEEEEEEEEERDS: Top 5 Reasons to Dislike Pre-Med Students

• Reader of the day: LaFemmeMonkita

• The Copyranter ranteth no more.

• Words, words, words.

• iVeal