Look Who's Talking
Over the weekend we were lucky enough to attend a fancy (ie: sailor red) pants wedding at an exclusive Savannah-area resort. While catching up on some skin cancer and the latest issue of the Land Grant College review (issue three) by the lap pool, we were treated first-hand to two scoops of totally unexpected bridesmaid tattle. To make it more “bloggy,” let’s pretend she sent it in, though. Standards, you know.
a reader writes in…
So the bride-to-be got too wasted at the rehearsal dinner and couldn’t make it to her AM massage. She woke me up, and I went in her stead. (Who the hell gets too wasted for a 90 minute massage?) Anyway, a few minutes into the good rub I asked the little girl with the great hands if any celebs had stayed at the resort, and she responded with the standard,
“We’re really not supposed to talk about it.”
But I playfully insisted that she did.
“Well, (we’ll call him: Hanes Beefy T) has been here before,” she replied sheepishly.
‘Really,’ all three syllables.
“He rented a one bedroom cottage here with a male companion.”
‘His (we’ll call her: The Stepford Wife) wasn’t with him?’ I retorted.
“Who?”
“The Stepford Wife… The lovely and talented Stepford Wife? Star of stage and screen? Hollywood treasure?
“No, just his male companion. And we didn’t see much of them.”
The room went silent, except, of course, for the pan-flute aria coming through the spa system, and then she added,
“And he requested a male massage therapist for all his massages.”
An assistant. An editor. A friend. A dance instructor. A chia stylist. A co-pilot. An agent from the Church of Scientology. Heck, it could have been anyone, right? Sure it could have. Tons of reasonable explanations. And the massage request? Well, T’s a big boy. Wide. Maybe he just requires the beefier, harder, more eager to explore hands of a man to get all those naughty little knots out.
It’s SO OBVIOUS! Kirstie Alley!
now that’s a hottt scooop
looks like palmetto bluff to me.
Who is it?
Assuming we’re talking about a certain um, fantastic dancer here, someone told me a nearly identical story about this same star, occurring at the Four Seasons here in New York (said story came from an employee at the hotel). Could they possibly both be true?? If so, dude needs to be less obvious, stat.
Duh! John Travolta!
from the obvious tent: I second john travolta
Dancer? Travolta? Stepford = Kidman. Hanes = Cruise.
That was the easiest blind item ever.
hey spence, whatever you say. I say tom cruise.
well, the call of the wild and the stepford caption from a while ago lead me to believe it’s not Tomkat.
Please tell us Keith Urban ain’t up in this beeyatch. He’s such a strapping lad for being all of 5’3”, but he wouldn’t flaunt it that much would he?
And Travolta ain’t batting for the other team. Not with that hair.
And Katie Holmes ain’t no Stepford Wife.
We’re befuddled. Kenny Chesney? When in doubt, we always vote Kenny Chesney.
Yes, the “Travolta” song, Kelly Preston stepford caption and the whole “Look Who’s Talking” title. Also, Travolta’s really into flying planes. (“A co-pilot?”) Oh and the “T” in Beefy T = Travolta because Cruise? Not so beefy.
the only blind thing about this item is the aggravating blindness of commenters. aggravating!
can’t believe noone’s seen this yet. it’s tim mcgraw. (name w/ 3 syllables; stepford wife who is “star of stage & screen”; and the hanes beefy tees are all that he used to wear!)
From the Savannah Morning News:
“Since opening last year, the Inn at Palmetto Bluff has become the hip place to holiday - or have a wild rice and mulberry leaf body polish and massage.
The village of metal-roofed cottages clustered along the shores of the May River have housed, fed and robed John Travolta - twice, Reese Witherspoon and Tony Shalhoub.”
It was Shaloub! Shaloub is a gay! And he likes mulberry leaf body polish! I feel like Monk.
the real clue is in the name of this post.
no no no he HAD the gay but Scientology fixed him:
http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/entertainers/actors/john-travolta/
My favorite clue: “A chia stylist.” Travolta’s hair is like a chia pet. Hysterical!
Yes.. Kirstie Alley got my vote..
I think we missed this clue…’Really,’ all three syllables. John Travolta has 4 syllables. Tom Cruise 2. If the Look Who’s Talking title is a clue, then we’re left with Bruce Willis.
But Kelly Preston is not a star of stage that I know of, only screen. And she is hardly a Hollywood treasure.
unintentionally funniest comments ever.
I agree with the Tim McGraw guess. Faith Hill was in “Stepford Wives” and she’s a star of stage & screen. When Stepford Wive was mentioned I immediately thought Nicole Kidman but she’s not a star on stage. Faith Hill is a better guess. So I’m gonna go with Tim McGraw.
Matthew Broderick…wife SJP
everyone who’s famous and gets more pussy than me is gay as shit. Keanu, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Colin Farrell, the list goes on. Except for Johny Depp. that guy live in France and he’s alright. In all seriousness, Travolta is so fucking gay it’s retarded. I heard he likes to order room service and then chase the waiters around in his bathrobe…not that there’s everything wrong with that…
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I hear they have large closets at these resort-type places.