6/22/2006

The Opening Of A Pack Of Gum

What, was the envelope busy? These celebrities, and we use the word celebrities loosely, left their dignity on the coffee table and attended the fairly condom-ish Stride Gum (a long lasting gum) launch in Hollywood: Nicky Hilton, Kevin Federline, Bijou Phillips (why?!), Fez (not pictured for obvious reasons), and Gregg “Sometimes credited as: Greg Bello” Bello.

  • Superman Returns: The creepiest premiere pictures ever. Not sure why either… Oh yeah, maybe it has something to do with Kate Bosworth’s ridiculous albino melon. As for everyone else, they all look like they’re on drugs, or not having a good time, or in the closet, or too far out of the closet, or too orange (Eva Longoria), or too Mark Hamill.

  • Britney Spears Quote Taken Just Barely Out Of Context:

    OK Magazine: What are you doing to keep fit?

    Spears: I laugh a lot, sleep a lot.

The Like: For their labels’ sake, we sure hope that’s a sound check.

TJ  

Great pictures, Fiddler. That pic of the Paquina looking sicked out by something (perhaps she saw Keyser Soze trying to tug at SuperJesus?) is gold.

The rest of the lot there pales in the light of the girl Grambo calls Trachtenbest.

julia  

Kate Bosworth’s head is aerodynamic. Its a white Ford Probe.

Douglas Reinhardt  

Kate Bosworth looks like David Bowie in “The Man Who Fell to Earth.” Whatever happened to the girl with the great lips from “Rules of Attraction”?

LaRubia  

Nicky Hilton’s nose is more attractive than Kate Bosworth in those pics. Bosworth’s got advanced stage Bobbleheaditis with attendant orange skin. A very sick girl.

LaRubia  

Also LONGWHORIA GO TO HELL YOU ARE UGLY NO ONE GIVES A CRAP THAT YOU ARE DATING THAT BASKETBALL PLAYER WHO I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL HE DUMPS YOU AND YOU ARE SO TACKY WITH THAT NECKLACE AND GO F*CK YOURSELF HORSEFACE AND STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE BECAUSE NO ONE CARES! Thanks.

anniehall  

i apologize for that…my mother has a drinking problem.

spencer  

i was told registration would curb comments like that. oh well!

Louis  

Mark Hamill’s face looks as if it’s been redesigned by Picasso.

anniehall  

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Corky St. Clair  

I’d still eat a sundae out of Kate Bosworth’s ass after she ran a marathon.

spencer  

thank goodness!

marissaB  

oh, poor Rachel Dratch.

Patrik  

Thank God Rachel Dratch showed up to sing the National Anthem or I woulda been out of there.

cara  

re: Pete: nawwwwww.

Spencer, sort of related in a brit pop way: have you heard of the Upper Crust? (myspace.com/theuppercrust)..Justin from the Darkness is into them. Meh.

sasefina  

my god. so many questions spring to mind: is parker posey hiding jacked up teeth in there? does everyone realize how incredibly gay brandon routh is? why did you put up that picture of rachel dratch? it’s like picking on the fat kid. too obvious.

KHA22  

Ok I’m sure many peeps will say they’re exotic and different but K. Bosworth’s different colored eyes freak me out and every time I look at her face I go slightly cross-eyed. Just saying.

any such name  

please please PLEASE tell me that’s Joey FATone of N*Sync in that last picture with Parker Posey…

spencer  

yep. and dig the super-sloth t-shirt.

mariootsa  

seeing parker posey there gets me to thinking how much cooler this movie would have been if they made it 10 years ago with HER as lois lane, and not miss bobblehead in a bad brunette wig.

Scripts