Captain Beef Flaps. Ohhhhhh…that’s good.

Has Biel always had such a great ass? Seems its being pictured everywhere lately. I heard she’s big with the lezzies.

another kate moss comment, since you featured biel, mr. sloan. i happened to be “reading” vanity fair yesterday (great articles on casey johnson and sofia coppola, by the way), when i noticed that in addition to the cover story, moss also helms not one but SIX different fash campaigns (calvin klein, louis vuitton, dior, burberry, david yurman, versace). doesn’t it defeat the purpose of having a spokesmodel if she speaks for everybody? that’s the equivalent of having a boyfriend who’s also addicted to heroin, punches out photogs, and wears really bad derbys.

Spencer, I’m guessing you have some sort of way to get Steely Dan this letter I’m writing, so please make an effort that it will.

8.17.06

Dear Steely Dan,

Hey, it’s me, oasisboston. Yeah, you don’t me. No reason why you would, for now. I reckon it will take a few more years for that, but I digress.

I’m writing today after reading what you wrote about my hero Mr.Wes Anderson. You see, Wes has had a profound influence on my life since “Bottle Rocket” came out, and even though I don’t know the man personally, I do take major offense when he is publicly talked down to on the internet.

It takes balls but more accurately ignorance to disgrace a director by breaking down his films as getting worse subsequently and summarizing his style in a matter of sentences. As men who have achieved success in the entertainment business and who claim to love film, you are quite the joke and past your prime/grumpy old men you come across as in interviews and such.

Your recent letter to the man is an absolute joke. One can only assume you don’t realize the unintentional humor of having a band that hasn’t mattered in 30+ years size up the work of a genius and then suggesting a fucking song for his new film? In case you’re wondering, I started to get dizzy when you began creating lyrics and stopped reading your joke of a letter so as to not induce further vomiting.

It’s really cute that your letter to Owen made any sort of noise, considering the actor only signed on to do the picture and had not thought of your possible connection to the character. Calling him out online was equal to attending the special olympics and yelling that everyone is “so retarded”.

I ask that you refrain from discussing anyone that actually matters in the world of film and music from this moment forward (if you care to uphold any respect we may have for you further).

Listen, you made some great songs back in the day, but for me you are ultimately the answer to the trivial pursuit question that will be aimed at me in 2030: (What group beat out Eminem to win the best record award in 2001).

From my experience with celebrities and people of any sort of fame, you clearly could care less about a random person in a tan suit posting on an celebrity website. But take the time to contemplate what I have said. It may burn inside, but you’ll be better for it in the long run.

If you have any issues or question anything I have said, please feel free to contact me at: blair.harrington@gmail.com

Good day to you both.

~ Oasisboston

PS.

I will never listen to any of your music from this moment forward and will push my friends and colleagues to do the same unless you apologize for being such losers in the game of life.

i don’t come here to read some crybaby shit like that. isn’t there a contact section up at the top?

Captain Beef Flaps!

So if those are the outtakes, I’m assuming the actual pictures in the magazine are somewhat better than hot, right? I mean, are they outtakes because she still has her clothes on?

Regarding the part where she jumps into the pool, I hope they at least told the hairdresser first. There’s nothing like spending an hour doing something for someone else (like blowing out their hair) and then watching them undo it in 3 seconds.

That said, fuck the hairdresser, I like my Biel wet.

Tonight: Neil Young, musician

..as opposed to the accountant

Today’s post taught me two new words: “Faboriginal” and “Pedosmile.” Hey! I also got me a Fugazi download. Thanks GF.

All my problems are solved and I’m never going to die!! (Mike Myers)

Whoever wrote the Kidman article managed to stay objective right about up unnnnntilll, the last. ten. words.

Karr’s one effed up looking mofo. Even if he didn’t murder Jon Benet he’s done something. Somewhere.

(shiver)

jen also said vince is into the garry sanchez