Sly dog Mikhail Gorbachev goes for someone more his own age.

• BREAKING: Least interesting couple EVER splits!!!! Tabloids breathe a smoke-filled sigh of relief.

• King of the world Leonardo Dicrapio and a bunch of his guido, butthole, TV producing pals will take “a down-and-out town and rebuild it into an eco-friendly community,” for their show E-Topia. SPOILER ALERT: As part of the big, live finale, Leo and his down-and-out pussy posse will fly into “E-Topia” on his new, private jet, the “E-Raper” and bang all the teenage girls in the eco-village, in the back of their new Prius’s, wearing lambskin rubbers, while on E.

• Clooney Roast: And where were longtime on-and-off-again girlfriends Krista Allen and Lisa Snowdon? Hmmm, George? More of marinating than a roasting if you ask us.

• Paula Abdul: Going once, going twice, SOLD! …back to Paula Abdul, for one million future sessions in therapy.

• Lindsay & Paris unite in Las Vegas to become one unstoppable Voltron coke-whore. (Pardon the pun, but this story has holes.)

• Faux struggling, greasy, downtown, beat whateverist Ethan Hawke admits to manorexia. Wah.

• Eddie Murphy in space? Wow. That sounds like a great idea!

• A most unfortunate photograph of Reese Witherspoon.

• Tall, hunky, model dude still pretending to like Halle Berry.

• Warren Beatty’s Reds, the 25th Anniversary Special Collector’s Edition, starring Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, and Warren Beatty, is released on DVD for the first time.

• Watch the trailer for Wild Blue Yonder, director Werner Herzog’s new film starring Brad Dourif (One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest) about a group of astronauts circling the earth in a spacecraft, but unable to return to earth as the planet has become uninhabitable. The cause of this remains open (all-out war, outbreak of a new disease beyond control, radiation after the complete disappearance of the ozone layer, etc.). The crew of the spacecraft must find a more hospitable place out there in space, and that’s when nothing very funny happens. (via docblog)

• Mike Mignola fans rejoice. Hellboy: Sword Of Storms (the movie) will air Saturday, Oct. 28th, at 9:30 pm (ET, PT) on The Cartoon Network during Toonami.

• The New Yorker’s resident Waldorf Anthony Lane cuts the well-heeled haughtiness out from under Sofia Coppola’s Marie-Antoinette.

• Why is it still so difficult to accept that Courteney Cox (the rich man’s Evangeline Lilly) is married to David Arquette? Every time we see a picture of the two of them together it makes us feel uncomfortable. Like we’re being tricked.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs perform “Our Time” acoustic in the parking lot (complete with car alarm) of Criminal Records in Atlanta, GA.

• One-man beat-box band Jamie Lidell tourdates.

• New (old) Beatles album due in November. We’ll wait for the Pitchfork review, thank you very much.

• Dave Navarro is still the Dave Navarro of semi-retired rock stars.

• Conan has Elizabeth Stamatina “Tina” Fey, actor/writer/musician/painter and comedian Steven Wright, and kazoo virtuoso Barbara Stewart, author of The Complete How To Kazoo.

• Trip Girl: Thalia Ayalla (nsfw)