The following is an excerpt from our favorite article of the year (and, maybe, ever) which can be found in the new “Money” issue of New York magazine.

“Rocky Aoki’s speedboat disintegrated … and so did Rocky.” Rocky splashed down with a broken arm, a shattered leg, a torn aorta, and his liver sliced in half. He was helicoptered to a nearby hospital, where doctors removed his spleen and gall bladder and cut open his chest to perform a ten-hour coronary bypass. “Three days, unconscious,” he says. When he woke up, he recalls, “I’m completely naked, tube in my penis. I see my wife standing over me, on one side. On other side, I see my girlfriend…. I say, ‘Ohhh … shiiit!’ ”

• Read the rest HERE.