Everybody who’s really nobody rolled out of bed just in time for the 2006 Billboard Music Awards. And poor, little Nelly Furtado. Just when we were beginning to warm up to her the record company goes and forgets to screw her head on tight enough. So who won th- yaaaaaaaawn… awards? Does it matter? When the presenters look this bad, we all win.

Meanwhile across town, queen of the sheer dress and goldenfiddle favorite Stephanie Seymour and her cartoon gangster husband of 12 years Peter Brant were photographed together (although the body language screams not for much longer) at the New York University Child Study Center Gala at Cipriani in New York City.

Meanwhile way across town, Orlando Bloom was super busy unveiling original artwork by such world renowned artists as Leonardo DiCaprio, Charlize Theron, Martin Scorsese, Peter Jackson, and, yes, Orlando Bloom during Netflix’s “Big Reveal” Holiday Program… We’ll give you a second to process all that. Now, see if you can match the “artist” up with the “original artwork.” Save the pictures to your desktop to find out if you choose correctly. (Of course Jackson schools the others.) Also, there’s a fakey in there, just for fun. Can you spot it? Yay, games!!!

• Caganer Figures: Tiny statues of people defecating that folks in Southern France/Northern Spain like to put in their manger scenes.

• Defamer: “A combination of vintage Nick Nolte dishevelment and Gibsonian insouciance.”

• Who let the dogs out? Serena Williams let the dogs out.

• NY Post Blind Items with 20/20 vision.

• Yes, Rush, and Dire Straits