On Sunday, August 6th, 1989, over Poptarts and Frosted Mini-Wheats, we carefully (or so we thought) cut the final installment of Berkeley Breathed’s long-running, esoteric masterpiece Bloom County out of the Sunday paper and tacked it to our bulletin board, next to the Kathy Ireland shrine. Months later, and shortly after it began to lose some color, we took it down, placed it in a heavy book, and put that book on a shelf. Basic Archival 101. Having recently moved the Goldenfiddle offices to a secure, Dynatech Laboratories-funded bunker miles below the earth’s crust, we stumbled upon this same book for the first time in seventeen years. And having been so obviously preoccupied with examining and absorbing those four, final, fading frames, we completely failed to notice the profound, comic genius that is printed directly onto the other side of the paper, until now.

• The Dakota Fanning Show: Laserbeam-precise doesn’t even come close. This is brilliant. (via oldmansnap)

• Who knew Jessica Simpson could glean statements from movies?

• Tara Reid: Leave the stripper-hooves at home and maybe this wouldn’t happen every time you go outside. And she was doing so well. Pity. Also, is it just us, or are her feet, like, horribly bruised?

• Warner hands The Flash over to director/human-toilet Shawn Levy.

• Martin Scorsese one step closer to losing the Oscar, again.

• Sneak peak at Vanity Fair’s yawn-inducing “Hollywood Issue.” Because the other issues are so not Hollywood?

• Hollywood Tuna, What Would Tyler Durden Do?, and probably about 6,000,000 other celebrity blogs we could care less about discovering fall asleep at the wheel.

• Knocked Up: “She lika da way ya dik taste.” (via lindsayism)

• Thighs Wide Shut’s official Top Tenors Movies of da 200Sixes. We agree with most of the selections here, except, of course, Babel.

The three, excellent, new covers for the Criterion Collection’s releases of The Atomic Submarine, the Haunted Strangler, and First Man Into Space.

• Avril Lavigne’s Fergalicious, new, mall-stomp “Girlfriend.” Did she just drop a “mother-fucking?” (sweet vocal effect, Carol Anne.)

• Clap Your Hands Say Yeah tourdates, with Elvis Perkins.

• Download: The Meters, The Bottom Line, NYC, 1977.

• The Beatles and Apple kiss and make up.

• Letterman has Dr. Punxsutawney Phil and Fall Out Boy.

• Johnny 5 goes to work for GM, needs medication.

• Who says smoking isn’t sexy?

• Let us guess… Sandals?