Avril, Avril, Avril. (sigh) Where to begin. Let’s just go ahead and make a list of some problem areas in your live performance that you may want to work on before that big, Best Damn Thing world tour. Mmm, k?

• Vocals: Buried. We know you want the music loud and punk, but that’s no reason to slack off in the vocals dept. Anyone can make it loud, anyone can lipsynch, but not everyone can actually sing. Unlike 99% of the other pop triscuits out there, you have pipes. Use ‘em. (see Energy Level)

• Stage Presence: You’re not Liam Gallagher. No one is. Not even Liam Gallagher, anymore. Watch Karen O. Rinse. Repeat… Perhaps that’s too much to ask. How about: What Would Billy Joe Do? (See Energy Level)

• Energy Level: Earl Grey. We’ve got roach motels that work harder than that. You’re a hyperactive, little, mall canuck in Chuck Taylors, not Vic Chesnutt. Go crazy!!! Because you can. Honestly, if not now, when? If not here (SNL, in concert), where? (See Stage Presence)

• Dance Moves: Let’s focus more on areas we know can be improved. (see Energy Level)

• Eye Contact: This is a tricky subject. There’s a distinct lack of eye contact with anything, living or not, during the performance. It’s unnerving, and it can be construed as rude. dude. So, obviously, this can make or break a performance, particularly a televised one. At this point in your career (three albums, multiple world tours, countless television appearances), no eye contact says you’re either: A) So deep inside the song, the moment, the feeling, that you can’t be bothered to acknowledge the screaming, hysterical teens, (which you get a pass for) B) Not wearing your glasses on stage and forgot your contacts, C) There is a gross misunderstanding at the root level as to what it is that you are doing: You’re on TV. Millions of people are watching, some in HD. There is a band, on the clock, rocking balls to some dumb pop song, right behind you. This is your JOB. And everybody and everything around you is there for YOU. So, you know, fucking act like it. (see Stage Presence, Energy Level)

• Song Choice: “Girlfriend” and “I Can Do Better” are the two worst damn songs on The Best Damn Thing. Should have played “Runaway”, and “Hot”, or “Contagious” or “When You’re Gone”. (see Vocals)

• Interviews: Total Lost cause. (see Eye Contact, Energy Level)

Now that’s a lot to process, and a lot of (constructive) critisicism, so we’ll say something nice. You were adequite as Elle Fanning. Dakota would have been better in the role, but you were fine… Still no idea what the shit a Shia LaBoeuf is, but that Digital Short was brilliant.