UPDATE: Yep!

Goldenfiddle golden girl Lindsay Lohan chose to honor the U.S. men and women who have died in military service to their country this Memorial Day weekend by crashing her black 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible (again) into a defenseless palm tree on Sunset Boulevard at 5:30 am Sat. morning, fleeing the accident, and, eventually, getting arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence. Now, that is patriotic. Later, the police found a “usable amount” of a drug tentatively identified as cocaine in her car. (Did they not check her PURSE?) Adding insult to hangover is Svedka Vodka, the Swedish schwag brand scheduled to sponsor Alcoholics Anonymous attendee Lohan’s 21st birthday bonanza in Vegas this July 2nd & 3rd. Apparently they’ve had a moment of clarity and have reneged on their enabling offer.

• Proud dead-beat dad and mesh t-shirt model Michael Lohan releases a statement, without ever being asked. No word from cougar mother (and possibly not a former Rockette) Dina Lohan.

• Video of before/after the crash.

It should be noted (because it is, everywhere) that the accident was first reported by X17 Inc., the celebrity photo agency that follows 20-year-old millionaires around until this sort of thing happens.

• 1st Offense: “So, even listless, misguided, spoiled celebrities are often entitled to, you know, a first bite at the apple.”

… still thinking about that ridiculous sleeping bag Lohan is carrying out of The Ivy? Private equity associate Natasha Mitra carries one, presumably to make her nose look smaller, but, also, because she works with a woman at Louis Vuitton who likes to play cruel, public jokes on her. Regarding the equally hefty price tag ($3,500) Mitra wagers, “I guess a lot of craftsmanship goes into it.” Harvard Business School and she plays the Paris Hilton retard card. Love it!

• eBay: “In Greek mythology, the mist of mount Olympus shrouded divine love. Featuring a soft, plaited strap, the stratus is very spacious and echoes the smoky effect of the mist.”

• UPDATE: OMG, TMZ says OC’s Mischa Barton OD’d at BBQ. LOL!!!

• 2ND UPDATE: Your friend Billy Zane’s girlfriend Kelly Brook fails to crash a car, get arrested, OD, or look disgustingly emaciated at her 2008 calendar shoot. She’s a real role model!