If yer old enough to remember, you may have had the same thought. Lo, and a dusty synapse farted softly in the wet deep trenchs of a brain.

According to internet lore, “She (buxom, eye-patched, polar bear-straddling Barbie, on the right) started life as a Dungeons & Dragons character played by a guy whose favorite drink was Rumplemintz Schnaps. He sent in the original rendition that was used in the early ads. Later they hired a pro to clean up the pic.”

At the bottom of the ad it says: “For an 18”x22” poster of this ad, please send $4 to Rumple Minze, P.O.Box 250-P Orange, NJ 07051.”

If you use this call me Cornelius Vandernauga.

What the f is going on in this 1967 print ad for Uniroyal’s Naugahyde fabric, featuring the infinite nightmare generating “Nauga?”