Whatever. Madonna is a cold cruel bitch. to her husband, to her children and to Santa Claus. Seriously, what the fuck is up with her whole, “We have everything, so you will have nothing,” bullshit? It’s unbelievable. What a fucking hypocrite. We’re so sorry, Lourdes. But remember, she’s bigger than you, faster than you, and she will always beat you.

[ED. Note: And just be glad you don’t look like Rumor Willis.]

• Another link to something on YouTube!!!

• Dear Richard LaGravenese, You wrote one of our favorite movies of all time, so thank you very much for that. Sorry we haven’t written sooner. Love, goldenfiddle… P.S. We don’t love you, anymore.

• Fred Armisen had a bumpy patch with that whole weekly “Prince Show” abortion, but he’s back on track now.

• Unlike most of his paintings, hot stuff Chinese artist Yue Minjun will not smile for the camera.

• Ian Astbury let’s the cock out of the bag; The Cult is opening for Led Zeppelin on their ‘08 tour. You supply the grey-hair metal joke.

• God bless the big blonde absurdity that is Victoria Silvstedt.

• Whatevs hacked by commie Turkish/Russian commies!

• Worker #3116 attempts to purchase a pre-mid-life crisis swiss army leatherman, fails magnificently.

• Have we mentioned that skeetonmischa recently made the jump to Tumblr? Shut the fuck up, that shit was rhetorical.

• Merry Christmas, love The Mountain Goats.

• And the BoingBoing Takedown of 2007 begins.

• Where does a nerd work? In a nerd cave, duh! Which brings us to our new word: Knerd Knack, any plastic toy that sits on or around your computer that you got: in a Happy Meal, on ebay, when you were 8, at the Irony Store. (via thetreehouseandthecave)

• Question: Why is there not sports talk radio, except for food?

• Mitch Hedberg MP3 Archive!!! (via chunklet)

• Does Neil LaBute hate women? Yes.

• LOL